Not dead...merely vacationing

I am not going to lie: I am one lucky bee-atch.

Although Spanish has been going well, I´ve decided to take a weeklong break to travel with my friends from school, Mags/Meg and Christian. Meg and I spent a relaxing day and a half at Lago Atitlan (get here, ASAFP!). We stayed in the lakeside town of San Pedro, which is reknown for its "gringo hipsters," according to Lonely Planet. HA! I always knew I was a hipster somehow! Anyhoo, it was very relaxing and nice, but you kind of get a feel of why San Pedro is known as a place just to smoke up (cheap marjuana abounds, apparently...not that I know...) and chillax - there`s not terribly much to do. It`s just insanely beautiful...



I am currently blogging from Guatemala City, where we bumped into an American and her local "mom" who helped us out because they were convinced that we would get robbed and raped while waiting for Christian. Not yet robbed and raped, but Christian, Meg, and I are now headed to Tikal to see some dope Mayan ruins. Apparently, after one sees Tikal, all other ruins seem like piles of rocks. Let´s hope so, since it is a 10 hour bus ride!

More later!

Same old, same old...except yo voy a ir al inferno (I am going to hell)

Climbin´ stuff and hikin´ again. One time just wasn´t enough! I decided to climb up Volcan Chicabal again to see the lake. It was actually a bit easier this time (less pain!) and quite a bit more enjoyable...plus, I am trying to work my way up to this.


I just hope that Guatemalans know how awesomely beautiful their country is!!!

Aaaah, so more about the realization that I am going to hell (not that I wasn´t completely unaware of it before...). So my last teacher was a really nice guy, and we had some fun conversations about popular culture (dude, I learned so many bad words for someone with such a poor comprehension of Spanish that it just ain´t funny) and also religion, because he is quite religious. Now, I deeply respect all religions, but I made the mistake of mentioning to my teacher that I didn´t approve of how some religions so easily dictate that certain people will go to hell just because they do not share the same beliefs. I continued digging my grave in a conversation went, more or less, like this...except in Spanish (and my Spanish was definitely not as grammatically correct as it appears below):

YuhChic: Do you think that I´m going to hell?

Generally Cool Maestro: Well, not if you believe in Jesus Christ. Do you believe in Jesus Christ? [emphasis added by me because at this point I am thinking, "Holy crap, what have I gotten myself into?"]

YC: . . . .

GCM: Well...?

YC: (clears throat then smiles nervously) I don´t want to insult you because I really do respect your beliefs, but...

GCM: Don´t worry! Please go ahead! We can go and get a cup of coffee and speak outside the school if you like.

YC: Uh, I think I am safer here, because you won´t want to kill me here.

GCM: Er, OK...

YC: Well, it´s like this. I really respect religion and the good things it brings to people´s lives...[more incoherent babble about how much about how religion can be good]...but I really believe that it is important to speak honestly about my how I feel. I believe in Jesus Christ as a man who lived in history, but I do not believe that he was the son of God.

GCM: . . . .

So my teacher basically thinks that I am going to hell. Hee! Actually, the reaction on my teacher´s face after I dropped the "JC wasn´t the hijo de Dios!" bit was a combination of absolute horror and confusion. I think if he could have, he would have either kicked my ass from across the table or thrown Holy Water on me...luckily, I was paying his salary at the time, and thus I was temporarily safe. However, now he is no longer my teacher (another two weeks, another teacher), so I´m keeping all eyes open.

Fun conversations abound in broken Spanish!

¡Que cuervas y yo sin frenos!

I may be frightfully behind on current events and international news, but I am learning something new: lots of slang, bad words, and pick up lines in Spanish. The line above is basically: "What curves, and me with no brakes!" Hee! I am also quite fond of "¡Si así como lo mueve lo bate! ¡Que rico chocolate!" I think it translates to something like "Move it and shake it...what rich chocolate!" OK, so it doesn't translate terribly well, but it basically combines metaphors of slightly raunchy activities with the innocent activity of making a chocolate cake! ¡Que chilero! (How cool!)

The new phrases and words are courtesy of my new teacher, Marvin. At school, we switch teachers every two weeks. My last teacher was also a chico, by name of Julio. They are a couple of cool dudes, but they make me feel terribly old (both are 22 years old and engineering students). In my demented mind that has been warped by Asian culture and tradition, it is weird to have a teacher who is younger than you. Still, they're a couple of really cool vatos (dudes) and igualemente buens maestros, so it has been really fun so far.

Speaking of changes in personnel, I also had to change my family recently. This is because I discovered, much to my surprise, that I was allergic to the two dogs in my family. Yikes! I was aware of my "My-eyes-are-going-to-pop-out-of-my-head-and-my-nose-is-going-to-fall-off" reaction to some cats, but not about my reaction to certain dogs. In any case, the switch was a good move. My new family is even nicer (especially my new mom, Josefina), and the food is tasty. Less bland! Yummy.

In the meantime, a few pictoral representations of what has been happening so far:


One of the doggies from my first homestay says goodbye as I leave. Awwww...



At a park on top of a hill (called Baul), there are incredibly high concrete slides which are really fun to slide down! However, you need to sit on a flattened plastic bottle or a piece of paper to avoid some nasty ass burns from the concrete. Apparently, you also need to have some sense of how to stop when you reach the bottom of the slide. I mistakenly used my knuckle as a brake. Bad move, but much fun. I think the warning sign should have hinted at something...but at least it was not raining. Hee!


Preferred choice of transportation around these parts (outside of walking distance) are the ubiquitous "chicken buses". They can take the form of minivans, too, but they are mostly old public school buses decorated brightly, as demonstrated above. They are really cheap (Q$1-3 for a local trip) and convenient, but I feel a bit like I am in 6th grade when I ride them. I wonder if it is still cool to sit in the back...?


I took a daytrip with school to Zunil, a local village in the mountains that was pretty hard hit by Hurricane Stan last fall, like much of the Western Highlands (sidenote: It is pretty scary the devastation caused by the hurricane...entire roads collapsed and/or were cut off by humongous landslides that occured after the rains). In any case, Zunil is still cleaning up now. It is also home of one of the oldest churches in Guatemala...Catholic, por supuesto. Zunil is also one of the places in Guatemala that is home to San Simon, a "saint" that many Mayan Catholics worship but is condemned by the actual church because they think he is actually a tool of the devil. ANYHOO, San Simon is a wooden statue dressed up like a cowboy that moves from house to house in Zunil (every 6 months or so). People come to him to light candles and give offerings, usually booze (which they can pour right down the statue's mouth) and cigarettes/cigars. The whole San Simon thing is a mix of indigenous Mayan beliefs and Catholicism, though, so it is quite fascinating, actually...when it isn't freaking me out. When I went to see San Simon (Q$5 cover charge!), two women kissed him full on the lips for what seemed like a good few minutes before pouring booze into his mouth. Okkaaaay.


Gallo is the most popular Guatemalan beer. This is obviously a sign for a bar. I took this in Zunil. For such a religious town, the name seems slightly inappropriate...


Every Friday at school, we have the option of an "interactive" class where we can go on a trip. This past Friday, I went to Copavic, a famous glass factory in Guatemala. It was really dope! You can get really up close with the glass workers. They were very nice. Who knew glass could be so interesting?!? OK, so I am lame...


Every Friday night, there is a dinner that serves as a graduation for exiting students. It is usually pretty fun. This past Friday was potluck, so we had to work with our teachers to make something. Julio (my teacher from the last 2 weeks), Susanne (his current student and mi amiga from Germany), me, and my current teacher Marvin made chocolate cake decorated with irregular verbs and choice phrases like "¡Que chilero!", "¡Que onda vos!" ("What's up, dude?"), and "¡Vamos a chupar!" ("Let's go drink!", or, more literally, "Let's go suck [on some beers, that is...get your head out of the gutter!])."


Yet another football match with pals! ¡Vamos, Superchivos! They tied with Guatemala City, but a good time was had by all, as evidenced above.


I get quite a few calls of "¡Chinita!" in the streets here. It may seem racist, but I have come to realize that people use it merely as a descriptive term here, if not a term of endearment - por ejemplo, when cute little old ladies come up to me, stroke my arm, smile, and say "¡Buenos tardes, Chinita!" As it is terribly difficult to curse off little old ladies, I am trying to rise above the racial implications. This little wall advert was for a seemingly unrelated product (I think it was outside of a car repair shop or something...) and, thus, completely random. But cute. I walk by it everyday and giggle to myself.

Oscar watch from Guatemala ... I wish I could quit you!

First of all, Crash won for Best Movie? Whaa? Don't get me wrong, I thought the film was ooookkk (what film with Ludacris wouldn't be?!?). Yeesh, maybe I have been out of the country for too long...or maybe my recently being stranded in L.A. has forever prevented any potentially good feelings for the city (no offense to L.A. friends!). Secondly, I feel that I have watched Walk the Line more than 4 times, given all the airplane viewings that have been forced upon me. I did enjoy the film, though...go, Reese!

Yes, I'm an ass. But I have yet to scroll through the Oscar red carpet photos, because, well, I've got to priortize my precious Internet time, you know...

On a completely unrelated note, I found a great Taiwanese snack place in Xela! Seriously! The owner (a nice Taiwanese lady who has lived in Xela for 5 years) and I chatted for a bit, and the food (soy milk and xianbing, which are funnily and generically called empanadas here) is super tasty. I shall return...if only to practice my deteriorating Mandarin with the owner.

All these things that I've done

First of all, happy birthday to my brother (today) and my mom (yesterday)!

Hmmm, the things that I've been up to (besides missing you all, of course!). Climbin' up volcanoes, bathing in hot mineral waters, getting pelted with flour and eggs during Carnival...you know, the usual!

Needless to say, the Spanish lessons are going well, and I am having a lot of fun in Xela and its surrounds. I'm still feeling awkard about communicating in Spanish, but it is coming along. I am finally learning the past tense (well, the simple one, anyway) this week, so I'll be in better shape as the weeks pass...er, I hope.

One of the first things I did when I got to Xela (besides being drowned in daily Spanish lessions) was do a day hike up to the Volcano Lake Chicabal with some other kids from my school. Now for those who have climbed cathedrals and Great Walls with me before, you know that I am just a climbing fool! Well, this was pretty tough for me! It was 3 hours uphill (um, like 30+ degree angle?), and I was hurting pretty bad for a couple days afterwards. As in, it hurt to take a step. Ow ow OWEEE. Anyway, it was worth it though! You can see what I mean...


The view above was from a lookout point...because, after you hike uphill for 3 hours, of course you must climb down a HUGE flight of stairs to reach the actual lake. SIGH. Anyhoo, it was nice, despite the pain.


In fact, here's a picture of me looking slight delirious as I climbed down the stairs. At least the view is nice.


The waters of Lake Chicabal are considered sacred to the Mayans. A lot of locals leave offerings in the lake for their ancestors and recently deceased family members. In light of such information, I assumed that no swimming was allowed.


In order to avoid the 3 hour hike down from the lake, we hitched a ride in the back of a pickup truck for Q$2 (US$0.26). FOURTEEN GROWN PEOPLE in the back of a pickup truck. I felt very close to my classmates. :) Actually, we look quite comfortable in this photo, but that may be because you cannot see the other half of the group crammed into the back. At the time I was taking this photo, the jagged edge of the pickup door was rammed into my back, and some firewood was scraping against my leg. All this as we speeded down a mountain road...driven by a 12 year-old (YES!). On the way down, we ran over a kid's orange (probably the only source of vitamin C that this poor, mountain village boy was receiving all week) and a dog (the dog survived). In restropect, very fun...at the time, an extremely harrowing experience!


No other reason for the inclusion of this picture other than the fact that I just love it. It was taken at a little tienda that sold drinks and snacks along the hike.


After we got back to Xela from Lake Chicabal, I had the pleasure of attending my first real Latin American football game. It was fun! The home team, Xelaju MC kicked Antigua's ass 3-0. I finally learned the off-sides rule from my schoolmates. Adding to the excitement was that it was the 64th birthday of the Xelaju MC team that day, so there was a nice, albeit very dangerous, display of fireworks. Hey, did you know it is perfectly acceptable to shoot fireworks into the field during Guatemalan football matches? Whee! The whole experience was just very, very divertido (fun).

In another trip arranged by the school, I went to the Aguas Armagas (Bitter Waters) hot springs in the mountains of Zunil, just outside of Xela. It was great!


There is first an outside pool filled with warm natural waters, heated by the hot springs. It is really refreshing and wonderful. The backdrop of the mountains is not too bad either...


After the refreshing dip in the warm pool, my friend, Jenny, and I decided to brave the private, super caliente baths, filled with extremely hot waters. As it looks like above, the bath was in a little shack that had a natural rock/stone tub. The initial entry into the bath was like being cooked like a chicken, but after the suffocating shock of the heat, it's really quite nice! Jenny and I nearly passed out, but it was quite nice for getting rid of my pains from the volcano lake hike!


Ah, and then there was Carnaval (Fat Tuesday). Apparently, the tradition in Guatemala is not collecting beads, but having eggs smashed against your head. Um, yeah. Luckily, most of the time, the eggs are actually just empty, decorated shells (cascarones, I think?). My friends and I walked through the night market during Carnaval and discovered the downsides of being a traveling troupe of gringos - namely, you are the prime targets for being pummeled by eggs (both empty and RAW), flour, and confetti. I felt like an unbaked cake by the end of the night. At the time, not such a fun experience...in retrospect, amusing!


One day after being pummeled by flour, I visited a medical clinic just outside of town, Primero Pasos, which provides basic medical care to kids who live in the nearby mountains (think Appalachia here). They do some great work. If any of you are looking for a volunteer opportunity in Xela or a (tax-deductible) way to donate to a worthy cause, I encourage you to check out potential opportunities with the clinic at www.psiguatemala.org or www.primeropasos.psiguatemala.org. Feel free to contact me, too, if you have any questions, and I can put you in touch with the right people.


And, just today, I took a little day trip with my friends to climb up to a kind of public park up in the hills behind Xela. The park is called Baul and offers a great view of the city.

Guatemala is rockin' so far.